IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME

Hey,
What are you thinking?
Cause I’m here thinking about so many things.
And lot of them are ones that’s happened in the past.

And I have some that I want to tell to my past self.

To my 11 year old me,
Darling, he’s so not worth it.
You cried a river for him,
All he’s done is to pay for your food and he won’t allow
you to spend any money on your date.
Then his friends would say that you’re a gold digger,
And he would say that you’re a selfish kid.
You weren’t,
He was.

And to my 14 year old me,
Girl..
He loved you,
You lost a big boy there.
With a big heart as big as he was.
Because of what?
Because of that pretentious boy who made you feel
that you can play with anybody’s feelings.
You had someone who truly cares for you,
You brother’s death is just an excuse for your
inability to receive love.
But you’ll regret that decision,
I still do.

But to my 16 year old me,
You’ll meet someone who you’ve been waiting for.
Someone you’ve been longing for since you were 5.
It was hard,
It is hard.
You’ll have a hard time.
But whatever way you think would fix him,
They won’t work.
Be kind,
Be gentle,
He is as fragile as you are.

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